Say what you like about summer blockbusters: they may not always be great films, but they’re rarely boring. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time, an attempt to make a big-budget film out of a video game franchise that falls into the same traps and pitfalls as every other video game.
Fittingly for a film subtitled The Sands Of Time, the film transports us back to the heights of the Persian Empire, where King Sharaman adopts a young orphan named Dastan after he shows particular courage standing up to some guards. As an adult, Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) is the youngest, most carefree of Persia’s princes, but also his father’s favourite. Believing the city of Alamut to be home of dangerous weapons, Dastan and his brother’s attack the city and capture its princess, Tamina (Gemma Arterton.) But when Sharaman arrives to survey the victory, he is killed in a plot that places the blame on Dastan, and soon, the young prince realises he’s embroiled in a power play for the throne. On the run from his own family and with Tamina in tow, it falls to Dastan to protect a mysterious dagger that has the power to turn back time, a dagger that holds the key to clearing his name, but may also doom the world.
There’s a rich story to Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time, and it’s surprisingly deep for such a short film (the film clocks in just under the two-hour mark.) What that means is that the multiple sub-plots that vie for attention throughout this film (the mystical dagger, the political scheming, the greater forces at work and even the growing romance between Dastan and Tamina) are barely realised and unless they’re the main purpose of a scene, are wholly ignored.
A cheesy plot and dialogue doesn’t help either, and the script provides one of the film’s biggest let-downs: numerous groan-inducing comments are passed as characters recognise Dastan as a “true prince…of Persia” and some breathless exposition is provided just to give characters something to do, little of which is supported by events on screen. Mike Newell’s direction proves one of the weakest points of a film that’s never quite sure whether to play itself as an action film, a sword-and-sorcery epic or a smart action comedy, and when combined with the script, leaves a lot to be desired, with the film spending several set pieces smugly thinking it’s cleverer than it is.
It’s all a situation that isn’t really helped by the cast: Ben Kingsley provides plenty of cheese, as he is wont to do without tight direction (as with Alfred Molina, who lays it on thick as Sheik Amar.) Other British stalwarts like Richard Coyle (from TV’s Coupling and Sky’s recent adaptation of Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal) never quite make the transition from small to big screen. It’s with leads Gyllenhaal and Arterton that the greatest disservice is done: Gyllenhaal manages to nicely move from indie dramatic roles to blockbuster action with minimal effort, but once again, the script disappoints by giving him plenty of opportunity to give the character some emotional depth and never availing of the chance. Himself and Gemma Arterton are left with little opportunity but to spend most of the movie chewing scenery, proving Arterton’s third Hollywood movie in which she’s had no chance to shine. It doesn’t help that both Dastan and Tamina are allowed to be sexy (and the film even provides some ample excuses for adults to appreciate the flesh on display) while the film struggles to condescend to its audience and maintain a PG rating that never maximises on any sense of chemistry or sex appeal.
For a summer blockbuster, Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time is surprisingly slim on effects, which both helps and hinders the plot: nothing looks too unrealistic through the film’s fight scenes (conveniently taking place in foggy mountaintops or claustrophobic caves) but when the CGI comes out (especially in one scene where Dastan falls into a trap towards the film’s close) it’s obvious and poorly integrated. Practical effects are efficient, but again, fall afoul of the film’s poor script: parkour-based action scenes look impressive, but have no real purpose in the film (save to recall the video games) and even the make-up and styles associated with the evil tribe of Hassansin’s is undermined by them being nameless, purposeless bad guys.
As a movie adapted from a video game, Prince Of Persia is subject to the same curse as all others like it and will leave fans of Ubisoft’s franchise sorely disappointed, mostly because it acknowledges aspects of the game that it then infuriatingly underplays (much like the free-running that features in just one of the action sequences) and while the film struggles to attain status of a summer blockbuster with its location shoots, will have some audiences wondering why the entire film couldn’t have been more of Jake Gyllenhaal running around an abandoned castle fighting sand monsters.
As one of the few films I’ve ever seen that I’ve admitted to being bored during, Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time is far more of a disappointment than it should be. That might not prove a problem at the box office, given the time of year and the film’s hefty marketing, but this may very well be the reason I never play another Prince Of Persia game again.
Zombie Rating: C-
Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time is in cinemas now.
Super post – and great domain by the way:-)